Tuesday, December 4, 2007

People of Onething

So, we say it all the time... I want to be a person of One Thing...just like David. But what does that really mean? What does that really look like? Tamara and I were talking today about this very topic and frankly my flesh is scared of living this lifestyle. My heart longs for it but how do I tame my flesh? My heart says, "give until it hurts" (like Jesus commands in the Sermon on the Mount) but my flesh says, "but how will I pay my bills & feed my family"...so I pay my bills, buy groceries and wonder why I never have enough left over to give. My heart says, "die to self" but my flesh says, "then who will take care of your needs? who will put food on the table? don't you have the right to the things you want/need?"...so I focus on my own provision and wonder why I never have enough. My heart says, "serve others" but my flesh says, "what about my needs?"...so I do Children's Ministry but resent in my heart that I can't attend service b/c of my son's needs. My heart says, "fast, pray, and, read the Word, and gaze upon the beauty of the Lord in His temple" but my flesh says, "how do I possibly have time for all of these things when I have laundry, cleaning, dishes, errands, phone calls, .... to do? how do I fast when I have a baby to feed? It's just too much hassle."...so I continue to not start off my day in prayer and God-gazing and yet I wonder why I seem to never get enough done? Frankly, from what I'm seeing in my own words/thoughts is a need for an attitude adjustment. Jesus never said that the Kingdom of Heaven was all about me...actually it's all about Him. So, why then am I so focused on my own little world/kingdom? (As MercyMe puts it, "How can I further Your Kingdom when I'm so wrapped up in mine?") I want to be focused on what is on God's heart. I want to pursue the Kingdom. I want to focus on others, not myself. How do I put these desires into action? What does it look like to be a person of One Thing? How do I live this life? Is it living by the Voice of God? If so, how do I know who I'm hearing? Yes, I know Kirk would say "Practice" but that involves making mistakes...am I ready to accept those consequences, especially how they effect my family? Sometimes I just feel lost in the woods in a thick fog...no idea where I'm supposed to go and how I'm supposed to get there. ::sigh:: Any ideas?...

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