Saturday, October 27, 2007

Time flies

I can't believe I haven't written since August! It feels like everything is just flying by and I can't grasp onto anything. I don't have time to get anything done besides caring for Aiden. I'm lucky if I get a shower! I don't know how people do it. I really don't. I'm hoping it gets easier... at least slightly so I'm not living in a disaster zone. I realize now how much I could have gotten done in the last 9 months before baby came. It's been a real eye-opener to how lazy I've been. Now that I want to remedy that I feel like I can't. I know there's a way though. I'll figure it out sooner or later. I've been feeling sorry for myself too much too. I really want to be back in the prayer room and doing the 6am set and Friday nights. I miss singing and I miss the prayer room. I can't figure out what this is all going to look like for me and I feel quite far from the Lord at present. I try to pray at home and it feels foreign and empty. I don't know what I need but I do know it involves encounter with God that's deep. This time is definitely not what I thought it would be. I love my son and I wouldn't trade motherhood for the world but I definitely wasn't prepared for the spiritual emptiness and emotional drain that I've been experiencing daily. God, my God, I cry out...your beloved needs You now...

THE Shulamite
2 I sleep, but my heart is awake;
It is the voice of my beloved!
He knocks, saying,

“ Open for me, my sister, my love,
My dove, my perfect one;
For my head is covered with dew,
My locks with the drops of the night.”
3 I have taken off my robe;
How can I put it on again?
I have washed my feet;
How can I defile them?
4 My beloved put his hand
By the latch of the door,
And my heart yearned for him.
5 I arose to open for my beloved,
And my hands dripped with myrrh,
My fingers with liquid myrrh,
On the handles of the lock.
6 I opened for my beloved,
But my beloved had turned away and was gone.
My heart leaped up when he spoke.
I sought him, but I could not find him;
I called him, but he gave me no answer.
7 The watchmen who went about the city found me.
They struck me, they wounded me;
The keepers of the walls
Took my veil away from me.
8 I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
If you find my beloved,
That you tell him I am lovesick!

1 comment:

noga said...

your welcome on the revelation! may God continue to bless you as well. you have amazing work here on this page. Also, just a little fyi, i've been posting more of my works on another page as well, anenclaveofmen.blogspot.com, it is Josh Hawkins small group blog, that i'm apart of. There are other authors on that site as well, but i do most of the posting. I just thought I should let you know, just in case you really wanted to read more of what the Lord speaks to me (hopefully this isn't coming across as conceited). But ya. keep fighting for the Kingdom of God! And may the God of Glory continue to bless you! In Jesus name!