Talk about a quick response to my prayer (last post)! I turned on the IHOP webstream (Awakening 9pm-midnight set) and it was like God blasted me.
First of all, it's not about me and my circumstances. (I know...shocker.) It's about HIM and HIS Glory and HIS Kingdom.
Second, He wants me to trust Him again even though my experience tells me not to, even though I don't know for certain that my husband is on the same page, even though it seems crazy. God wants me to set out in vulnerability and trust His Word. This is my act of faith...to His Glory!
Third, that His grace is sufficient to help me be and do all that He asks of me. That His strength truly is glorified in my weakness. Yes, I am weak, broken, and selfish but God wants to make me beautiful, meek, humble, righteous, pure, and holy. He wants to glorify Himself through my weak life. He wants me to totally, withholding nothing, give all of me to Him in full confidence that He loves me yet giving Him full permission to do with my life as HE pleases, not how I please or think things should be...even unto death, poverty, or pain...trusting His goodness and His wisdom are beyond my own.
Yes, Lord, may it be unto me as You have said. Teach me, try me, consume all my darkness...let me truly be like the moon reflecting the Son, coming out the desert leaning on You, my beloved. Create in me a clean and new heart, oh God, and create a steadfast spirit within me. Show me Your Glory!!!!! Let me know the burnings of Your heart. Let me be daily changed by You. I hunger and thirst after Your righteousness. Grant me increasing revelation of You! Guard and preserve these things in my heart. Let them not be taken from me. Seal them for Your Glory!