Sometimes I feel like Chicken Little...

Matthew 23:37-39
37 “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing! 38 See! Your house is left to you desolate; 39 for I say to you, you shall see Me no more till you say, ‘Blessed is He who comes in the name of the LORD!’”

Tamara and I were reading this article last night. It makes me hopeful because the Jewish people are realizing that there is no amount of compromise or diplomacy that will result in peace. More and more Jews are coming to Christ! This article also gave me more of a sense of urgency b/c there are some big things about to happen...Iran on the road to being a nuclear nation, Egypt setting up all its military weaponry on the Suez Canal, Hamas and Hizbollah are more interested in killing Jews than helping Palestinians get a homeland, and there are alliances being forged in Arab nations and passivity tinged with hatred for the Jews brewing in the United Nations. How is it that some of the church in Burkina Faso gets that those who bless Israel, God will also bless and yet we don't get that here in the USA? Maybe I'm odd but my mother always taught me that there would never be true peace in Israel until Jesus returns and that when the USA turns its back on Israel we will lose all our prosperity and blessing that we take for granted.

After reading that article I want to truly understand the end times. You would think that having read Revelation and studied it as much as I have that I would have a lot more figured out than I do. My grandfather has given me his theory on the end times (the result of years and years of study). I've read and heard Mike Bickle preach on his theory of the end times which is very convincing as well. I've heard some preach on the end times or Revelation from the pulpit. I've done a lot of studying myself as well yet I know there are lots of things that still don't make sense to me or that I don't understand. I'm almost convinced of post-trib theology though pre-wrath is convincing as well. All I know anymore is that Pre-Trib is a lie. I have never found any proof of it scripturally and it was never preached by the early church nor will the persecuted church of today accept that doctrine. (I find that very telling!) Pre-Trib keeps the church from being ready. It gives her a false sense of security. No wonder scripture speaks of a great revival (yes!) but also a great falling away. Many in the Church will be offended b/c they will have to endure great persecution! I can't tell you how many people I've talked to that, upon hearing that I believe I will be martyred, are shocked when I explain that I do not believe it will happen in a foreign country but right here in the USA. It's so sad to think that so many are not preparing themselves for what is to come. I'm not saying I'm prepared either but I have been convicted that in order to be prepared I need to live the Sermon on the Mount lifestyle. I have never, even growing up in the church, been told that the Sermon on the Mount lifestyle is a required lifestyle of all believers. Never. I don't get how I never heard that. I don't understand how I ever heard the story of the wise and foolish builders outside of the context of the Sermon on the Mount when that is what it is directly speaking about. I'm reading the Word again and again finding things I never saw before. It's like I'm reading the Word with new eyes, eyes opened, blinders being removed (though I don't have full revelation or anything yet). Lord, have mercy! Continue to open my heart and my eyes to truth even when it is so hard to accept! I want to always have a heart of flesh not one of stone! It's so frustrating having grown up in the church b/c so often I feel like I know everything already! I want to be teachable, Lord! But God is continuing to open up my eyes, oddly enough lately on dictates of the Sermon on the Mount (even before I realized those concepts were in the Sermon on the Mount)...like fasting, giving, prayer, loving others. I have this desire to be other-worldly. After losing Sean, I began to realize even more how this world is not my home. I am tired of pursuing the elusive American dream. I am tired of the dictates of this world that make me more like Martha than Mary. I am tired of things that are temporal and no longer satisfy. I want to be meek and humble, b/c I am so easily offended right now it's sad. I want to be poor in spirit and pure of heart. I want to be unoffendable! I want to radiate Jesus! I want to be pure and blameless on the day of His returning. I want to gladly don His righteousness at the wedding feast! I want to bring my "talents" (how I spent my time, money & energy and how I used my decision-making ability and my influence) and hear "Well done, good and faithful servant!" I want to be one of the virgins who kept her oil (intimacy with God) and held it as more important than just having the lamp (ministry). I don't just want to be a Christian who worries about offending people. I want to be so Christ-like that people have the fear of the Lord strike their hearts and run to Him b/c they see Him in me. I want to be refined like silver that He might see His reflection in me. Oh, Lord, grant me patience to see this refining done Your way in Your time.