Wednesday, January 3, 2007
My reflections on Onething
Ok. I think I was expecting God to just forget that He had taken me into the wilderness and decide to really speak to me. I just remember my mom coming back last year with these insights into what God wanted her to do next. I have no such insight. I was expecting a major download and nothing earthshattering occurred. I practically begged God to speak to me and of course the only phrase spoken to me was "Be still and know that I am God." It was fleeting and I almost didn't hear it but, yeah, it was definitely God. Apparently I am trying too hard. I really want to hear His voice and live by His voice and I worry so much about whether or not I am actually hearing Him or not. I think He's trying to tell me to chill...just to rest. He keeps bringing Isaiah 30:15 to mind: "This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it." So, what did I get out of Onething. First of all it was a blast to ring in the New Year with such joy and passion for Jesus! :o) Secondly there were several amazing teachings. Yes, I had heard some of the teachings before but I was able to glean new insight from those or remind myself of the truth about how God feels about me. Mike's teaching on the parable of the 10 virgins was awesome. Ever since God clarified the wedding feast parable for me I've been asking for understanding of the 10 virgins b/c I knew I didn't want to be one of the foolish ones! I was so grateful to God for such insight. I also gleaned much from Dana Candler's seminar "Embracing the Fasted Lifestyle" and Dwayne's message on the Sermon on the Mount. God has really been putting an urgency in my spirit to dive into the Sermon on the Mount, especially once I discovered that the story about the wise and foolish builders was referring directly to the Sermon on the Mount lifestyle! I cannot believe that growing up in the church I had never heard that parable preached in the context of the Sermon on the Mount. Amazing. So, anyway, Danny and I bought a book called "Elijah's Revolution" which I am really excited to read and we purchased Allen Hood's "The Uniqueness of the Last Generation". I know it's not going to be easy but I'm dying for holiness. I'm yearning for it. Plus, my heart is stirred by something Misty sang at Onething "I'm in love with God and God is in love with me." I just wanted to weep when I sang those words b/c it is so amazing. Perhaps some of the terminology used in SOS made it harder for my heart to be tenderized to it (like I don't use "ravished" on a daily basis) but in such simple words I was deeply moved...plus the idea of marrying God is completely rocking my world. I cannot wrap my mortal mind around that. I am really hopeful that more people will get involved with IHOP-FW b/c of this conference but my realistic side highly doubts it. ::sigh:: I do not want to despise the day of small things! (I do but I don't want the prayer room packed but I really want people to rise up as worship leaders and prophetic singers and musicians so we can have more hours in the prayer room. I also want more people to help with the responsibilities so no one can say that the ministry work keeps them from the prayer room.) Oh, Lord, help me to be patient for your foundations to be laid. I feel like a racehorse right before the race begins...ansy to get running...grant peace to my spirit that I might wait for You and therefore be able to run with horses and not be wearied.