sacrifice...
we should never have gone to the resale...or at least not bought all the toys and esp. the bike trailer...
we need to stay within our means not make the numbers reflect our current usage like gasoline...can i walk more? maybe the bike trailer will come in handy after all...
do i need to get a job? how can i make more money doing what i am currently doing or have training to do without having to pay for childcare?...
what about IHOP? i so want to be a part and i can't even seem to do part-time hours at the moment...
what can we sell or donate that will free us from debt?...
i feel like all i do is whine to You about all my financial woes. how do i live in a financially responsible fashion without that being my entire focus? how do i not let the financial issues get me down? how do i live in a place of trust that you will take care of things? when i mess up financially i suffer the consequences so i just need to learn from my mistakes and not let them get me down. i know change comes slowly but i just don't know what to do next. i feel so lost and befuddled. i just want to sit down and cry but i'm not sure that would help anything. my secondary reaction is to seek out a solution. what can i do to change things? should i get a job? though that makes financial sense on some levels i really don't feel like i'm supposed to be working outside the home. i feel my place is here yet i have no idea how to deal with the pressures from others who do not understand why i refuse to seek traditional employment. what if i pursued the dreams of my heart instead of what others told me to do. what if i work my ouaf business, work part-time in IHOP-FW, teach spanish at home (maybe even do some translation on the side), cultivate my abilities as a speaker, have lots of babies :o), and maybe even begin to write...what if i pursued those things...what would happen?
and this money business...what if this is just a momentary thing that we should not be depressed about but see it as a continual learning experience. what if that is the secret to an eternal perspective...instead of whining (navel-gazing) perhaps the eternal perspective would say "ok, so that didn't/doesn't work, let's try this..." is it merely a question of attitude? is it choosing joy and eternal glory instead of whining and complaining about how the money isn't there so i can't pursue what i want to pursue. is my attitude my own worst enemy? is it really that simple?
